My favorite purple panties don’t fit me anymore.
My wardrobe is narrowed down to only a few items that actually get up past the thighs or don’t squeeze my arms like they’re taking my blood pressure; I’m forced to buy something new and fancy each time an event pops up, my energy levels are low, I can see the fat gathering around my waist and back into “cute” little rolls and I’ve been scarfing down any and everything in sight…no, I’m not pregnant.
I’ve gained weight!
I’m at my heaviest at 154.2 pounds (the lady at my doctor’s office was sure to let me know the exact number); up a cool 24.2 pounds from my average 130. Being a shorty, standing at just five-foot-four-inches, makes my ballooning even more noticeable. Trust me, I see (and feel) it too! To some, these are dream numbers to see on the scale, but for me it’s…a little uncomfortable, mentally and physically, especially since it’s not healthy weight gain.
Before you read on, let me just note that this is no cry for help, nor is it some “skinny-girl-crying-over-a-little-pudge” post. This is simply to publicly acknowledge what so many people feel comfortable, entitled even, to remind me of every single day; in person, on social media or via my family and friends…
I’m a little fatter than usual!
I don’t know about any other wives out there, but being newly married has proven to be one of the toughest balancing acts I’ve ever had to perform. Being a single woman, my schedule was mostly all mine and easy to navigate. “Gym” was a mainstay on the calendar, and I just found it easier to fit it in my day. I was telling my husband the other day how I miss going to the gym; not only because it’s such a stress reliever for me and one of my fave hobbies, but naturally, it keeps me slim and trim and healthy! I miss that!
I’m not saying it’s been impossible to get to the gym since I’ve gotten married; I admit I’ve been a little lazy and fallen into a routine that includes Netflix, sweet and sour wings, pizza and my famous homemade spaghetti. That coupled with running my home-based business, managing and seeking out new clients, building our home, nurturing my marriage and still merging our lives, your sis has been having a time!
Again, not at all complaining! I’m immensely grateful for the cards I’ve been dealt and know that I’m beyond blessed to live the life I’ve been given. I’m just keeping it real and letting y’all know that the transition from bride to wife has been an interesting ride and it’s showing in my newfound Chipmunk-esque cheeks!
Honestly, (speaking from experience), it really isn’t in the plan for new wives (speaking for myself) to gain “all this juicy weight.” And even if/when we do, the constant mentioning of it does more harm than good.
In our society greeting someone with a good ole “gal when you put on all dis weight” is meant in the most endearing way, I know this. Our culture is such that playfully commenting on someone’s weight gain or weight loss is the norm and it’s how we say, “Hi!” But just stop and think for a minute about the person on the receiving end.
No, really…stop and think about this for a sec.
People are going through so much in life these days. Jobs are hard to come by, families are being ripped to shreds, loved ones are dying, lives are shifting quickly, people are dealing with serious medical issues and we’re all just trying to keep it together. You see the smiles, you get the hugs, you hear the laughter…but so many people are bottling up thoughts, feelings emotions that they’d like to not think about for a few seconds. Seeing you might give them that moment, but when you remind them that they’ve gained weight, or lost a few pounds, that their hair is falling out, or their skin is breaking out; that their eyes look baggy, that they have wife weight gain, truthfully, it’s hurtful.
Here’s a list of things to consider the next time you’re inclined to comment on someone’s appearance.
- Think before you comment on my look, physical features or appearance; even if there’s a visible change and you think you’re entitled to do so because you’ve known me for a long time (family members included). You just never know how I’m actually reacting to this change.
- Don’t do this on social media! This adds more salt to the wound, since you’re now putting my cankles on notice for the millions of people who might come across your post or comment.
- That’s it, that’s the list!
Being a “public figure” I know that I’m naturally the target of unsolicited advice and comments and trust me I’ve been getting them for years, I take them as they come. But the incessant “you’ve thickened up nicely,” “gal ya gettin’ fat,” “I like this belly on you,” “I never thought I’d see the day she got fat” comments are, to put it kindly, TRASH. I don’t like the fact that I’ve gained so much weight in such a short time and I moan to my husband about it all the time, I’m sure he’s sick of me at this point, lol. But, I’m not over here dying about it, either.
I’ve accepted my, wife weight gain and my new wide waist for what it is and loving the new me, regardless. Like everything else in life, these 154.2 pounds are just a phase and as soon as I commit to putting down the burgers and picking up a barbell, it’ll all melt away. But I could seriously do without the constant reminder. Like, seriously.
Check out what happened when someone on my Instagram accidentally replied to a pic I posted, instead of sending it to her friend to gossip about my weight gain as she planned.
Being married and being a wife now is a great experience and I’m loving this season of my life, even if it comes with some bread rolls…or some back rolls, some chicken thighs or some cellulite-infused thighs!
Trust me, if there’s anyone who knows that I have wife weight gain, it’s me!
…you can stop mentioning it now! Pretty please!!
P.S. I’m back in the gym soon! 🙂