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Yes, I’ve Gained “Wife Weight!” …And You Can Stop Mentioning It Now!

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My favorite purple panties don’t fit me anymore.

My wardrobe is narrowed down to only a few items that actually get up past the thighs or don’t squeeze my arms like they’re taking my blood pressure; I’m forced to buy something new and fancy each time an event pops up, my energy levels are low, I can see the fat gathering around my waist and back into “cute” little rolls and I’ve been scarfing down any and everything in sight…no, I’m not pregnant.

I’ve gained weight!

wife weight gain

I’m at my heaviest at 154.2 pounds (the lady at my doctor’s office was sure to let me know the exact number); up a cool 24.2 pounds from my average 130. Being a shorty, standing at just five-foot-four-inches, makes my ballooning even more noticeable. Trust me, I see (and feel) it too! To some, these are dream numbers to see on the scale, but for me it’s…a little uncomfortable, mentally and physically, especially since it’s not healthy weight gain.

Before you read on, let me just note that this is no cry for help, nor is it some “skinny-girl-crying-over-a-little-pudge” post. This is simply to publicly acknowledge what so many people feel comfortable, entitled even, to remind me of every single day; in person, on social media or via my family and friends…

I’m a little fatter than usual!

wife weight gain

I don’t know about any other wives out there, but being newly married has proven to be one of the toughest balancing acts I’ve ever had to perform. Being a single woman, my schedule was mostly all mine and easy to navigate. “Gym” was a mainstay on the calendar, and I just found it easier to fit it in my day. I was telling my husband the other day how I miss going to the gym; not only because it’s such a stress reliever for me and one of my fave hobbies, but naturally, it keeps me slim and trim and healthy! I miss that!

I’m not saying it’s been impossible to get to the gym since I’ve gotten married; I admit I’ve been a little lazy and fallen into a routine that includes Netflix, sweet and sour wings, pizza and my famous homemade spaghetti. That coupled with running my home-based business, managing and seeking out new clients, building our home, nurturing my marriage and still merging our lives, your sis has been having a time!

RELATED: 10 things no one tells new wives!

Again, not at all complaining! I’m immensely grateful for the cards I’ve been dealt and know that I’m beyond blessed to live the life I’ve been given. I’m just keeping it real and letting y’all know that the transition from bride to wife has been an interesting ride and it’s showing in my newfound Chipmunk-esque cheeks!

wife weight gain

Honestly, (speaking from experience), it really isn’t in the plan for new wives (speaking for myself) to gain “all this juicy weight.” And even if/when we do, the constant mentioning of it does more harm than good.

In our society greeting someone with a good ole “gal when you put on all dis weight” is meant in the most endearing way, I know this. Our culture is such that playfully commenting on someone’s weight gain or weight loss is the norm and it’s how we say, “Hi!” But just stop and think for a minute about the person on the receiving end.

No, really…stop and think about this for a sec.

wife weight gain

People are going through so much in life these days. Jobs are hard to come by, families are being ripped to shreds, loved ones are dying, lives are shifting quickly, people are dealing with serious medical issues and we’re all just trying to keep it together. You see the smiles, you get the hugs, you hear the laughter…but so many people are bottling up thoughts, feelings emotions that they’d like to not think about for a few seconds. Seeing you might give them that moment, but when you remind them that they’ve gained weight, or lost a few pounds, that their hair is falling out, or their skin is breaking out; that their eyes look baggy, that they have wife weight gain, truthfully, it’s hurtful.

READ ALSO: Scientists say happy couples tend to gain weight

Here’s a list of things to consider the next time you’re inclined to comment on someone’s appearance.

  • Think before you comment on my look, physical features or appearance; even if there’s a visible change and you think you’re entitled to do so because you’ve known me for a long time (family members included). You just never know how I’m actually reacting to this change.
  • Don’t do this on social media! This adds more salt to the wound, since you’re now putting my cankles on notice for the millions of people who might come across your post or comment.
  • That’s it, that’s the list!

Being a “public figure” I know that I’m naturally the target of unsolicited advice and comments and trust me I’ve been getting them for years, I take them as they come. But the incessant “you’ve thickened up nicely,” “gal ya gettin’ fat,” “I like this belly on you,” “I never thought I’d see the day she got fat” comments are, to put it kindly, TRASH. I don’t like the fact that I’ve gained so much weight in such a short time and I moan to my husband about it all the time, I’m sure he’s sick of me at this point, lol. But, I’m not over here dying about it, either.

I’ve accepted my, wife weight gain and my new wide waist for what it is and loving the new me, regardless. Like everything else in life, these 154.2 pounds are just a phase and as soon as I commit to putting down the burgers and picking up a barbell, it’ll all melt away. But I could seriously do without the constant reminder. Like, seriously.

Check out what happened when someone on my Instagram accidentally replied to a pic I posted, instead of sending it to her friend to gossip about my weight gain as she planned.

wife weight gain

Whew, chile!

Being married and being a wife now is a great experience and I’m loving this season of my life, even if it comes with some bread rolls…or some back rolls, some chicken thighs or some cellulite-infused thighs!

Trust me, if there’s anyone who knows that I have wife weight gain, it’s me!

wife weight gain

…you can stop mentioning it now! Pretty please!!

P.S. I’m back in the gym soon! 🙂

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28 Responses
  • Rogan Smith
    June 13, 2019

    This was incredibly brave of you to write about your journey and post photos. A lot of people wouldn’t have the guts to do it. This was a FANTASTIC read and I appreciate the pictures and honesty. This is what the internet and social media, in particular need – HONESTY!

    • ianthia
      June 14, 2019

      Thanks so much for reading, Rogan! It was a hard one to do, but it had to be done!

    • Over the Hill 242
      June 16, 2019

      Child, I’ve put on weight too. It crept up on me…slowly. Since getting married, hubby been bringimg me treats like chips, cookies, cake, I started eating rice again, drinking lots of sugary drinks. I’m sweet mouth and those calories have shown up in unwanted places.

      But girl, the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. Take baby steps. I need to do so myself.

  • Gia Stubbs
    June 13, 2019

    Excellent article. I’ve been married over 10 years and still get those “you put on so much weight” comments. At first they bothered me quite a bit. Now,I tell you where to shove it. I’m not living my life to please others. I’m not watching my weight because of this or that one. I never comment on another’s weight or appearance no matter how shocking/ different because everyone is going through something. You never know what could send a person “over the edge”. So I hope people reading this will learn to just be kind and sincere in uplifting others with their words and facial expressions 😉.

    • ianthia
      June 14, 2019

      And I’m sure you’re as beautiful as ever! I don’t make changes for anyone either, I do it for me! I had always planned to get back in the gym and get back on my health journey, it’s just mean for people to be so forward and mention it.

    • Tammi Smith
      June 15, 2019

      Another great article. I too have been blessed with extra fluff and have received the looks and comments that can just ruin your day Thanks for saying what I truly feel….I know I’ve gained weight so there’s no need to comment.

      • ianthia
        June 15, 2019

        thanks so much for the read! Let them keep looking and you keep shining!

  • LaDonya
    June 13, 2019

    I love this article so much! Thank you for being transparent and open. And thank you even more for these pictures of what real bodies look like. I have been telling persons about this for years, its ok to notice but its not ok to feel entitled to shame or make comments about someones gain or loss unsolicited.

    • ianthia
      June 14, 2019

      You’re exactly right and this was the whole point of this post. Thank you so much for reading and commenting.

      • Melanie
        June 14, 2019

        Cheaper you start your article now on “you pregnant yet, what you waiting for”? They aint ga stop until someone burst them up… by the way.you look beautiful

        • ianthia
          June 15, 2019

          lol! that question came the day after the wedding lol! and it’s so crazy, you rushing people to get pregnant and naturally a woman’s body must change to facilitate a pregnancy…they want their cake and eat it too

  • Tekeelia
    June 13, 2019

    Absolutely love this article! I’m too a newly wife, celebrated my first year anniversary May 5 and I know this feeling All too well. People Really don’t know the damage they do when they say these things too you. I too once love the gym but being married now, working and taking care of home can become a strain. All I want to do sometimes is just get home from work, take a bath and lay down. I’m not Happy with the weight I’ve gained but at the same time I’m loving the marriage life! I don’t know if they spoke this on newly brides but indeed you put on weight when you are comfortable and happily married. I say everyday when I look in the mirror I am going on a diet and the min I see food that changes. I hope to mean it and get back to my normal self soon. Let’s All encourage each other!

    • ianthia
      June 14, 2019

      Don’t be discouraged girl! We got this!

  • Christine
    June 13, 2019

    Great article. Well I have been gaining since I fell in love 5yrs ago. HeHe… I get it all the time. People are just insensitive. Like now I have a date and I get “girl you gotta go work this weight off before the wedding” No!I don’t. While I need to do it for health reason it is truly none of their business either way.

    • ianthia
      June 14, 2019

      Totally agree!

  • Mona Moss
    June 13, 2019

    I live this nightmare every social gathering me and my husband attend…..one of his friends even asked if I was pregnant again 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ This is the part no one speaks about (marriage weight). I guess this is what happiness does to a gyal…….Thank you for sharing. This post really made my day

    • ianthia
      June 14, 2019

      thank you so much for reading! I’m happy you enjoyed!

  • sophia
    June 13, 2019

    Wow this brought me to tears!… I’m married as well and gained a lot of weight and gaining weight in this culture is not easy, you’re not pretty anymore or you’re lazy..etc. People don’t realise what that does to a person mentally 😒. But I’m losing my wife weight, not for others, but for myself 😊 Thank you for this!!!! it was much needed!!!

    • ianthia
      June 14, 2019

      yes! do it for you and for no one else! We are truly insensitive to any change in a person’s physical appearance and it really needs to stop. Thank you for reading.

    • Over the Hill 242
      June 16, 2019

      You go girl. Do it for YOU!

  • Raquel
    June 13, 2019

    Challlllll why am I here on this couch squawking like nobodies business at that screen shot!!!!!

    I agree with article 100%. Everyone wanna say something bout ya weight or what they notice – when their opinion was not solicited. So I’m done raising above and my new rebuttal is equally as endearing (i.e. why your eyebrows look like that? why ya hair look like that? why ya feet so ashy? And when all else’s fails MYOB) How bout that!

    Another excellent read.

    • ianthia
      June 14, 2019

      hahahaha! I love it! Thanks for the comment and joke!

  • Jazmine R.Rolle
    June 13, 2019

    I’m right here with you. I’ve gained quite a few inches on my waist since my wedding day and it is disturbing. Disturbing enough for me to get recommitted to working out more and eating less (I eat fairly healthy, I just eat a lot of what I cook so am now focused on portion control)

    • ianthia
      June 14, 2019

      Yes, I have recommitted to the gym and changing up my diet as well! Keep going, we’ve got this!

  • Marlene Laroda
    June 13, 2019

    Loving this article. I was always the small one in my group of friends and at a funeral everyone who were much bigger than I am starts to tell me how much weight I put on. So when I told them that they are so much bigger than me, they said well you were always the smallest one we thought you would never gain weight.

    • ianthia
      June 14, 2019

      So rude and insensitive! It’s like people are waiting on you to gain weight as if it’s a sin or crime. keep doing you girl!

  • Sylveta civil
    June 13, 2019

    Great read!

    • ianthia
      June 14, 2019

      Thanks so much!

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