I tweeted this the other day:
Minus the obvious grammatical errors, I live by every word I typed. To me, you never really realize the “damage” diving into multiple relationship advice blogs and memes do until you’re really having an issue, searching for answers, turn to them and come up blank. I’d be the first to admit that sometimes these articles and photos can be so refreshing. Some are so spot on in how they sum up your situation in, sometimes, one witty, heart wrenching sentence. We love it when we feel like no one gets us, no one understands, no one knows; but we log into Facebook or Instagram and bingo…there it is: the article/meme that gets it, gets me!
Scroll a little farther down the timeline and there goes another one that solidifies that point for you. You’re on a roll now. Finally your feelings are justified and you’re being understood. Some person somewhere in the world gets you. Five minutes into social media acceptance and you’re like, “What?! That’s not what I read five minutes ago! Should I quit my job or not, dump him or not?? Go to the gym or is taking a day off ok?”
Like candy, wine and fried food, I’m on a mission to limit my weekly love/life advice memes and blogs and here’s why.
1. They can sometimes add more confusion to the situation – It’s not as if they are the end all and be all and of course they’ll never be as good and our mothers’ advice. But we’re on social media so much these days, we can’t help but to come across these articles that we “oooh and ahhh” at. Being written from someone else’s point of view, they can fail to address key issues in your own and leave you very confused.
2. They can leave you with more questions than answers – To fight or not to fight? That is the question. To go to the gym today or take “no days off?” That is another question. To love my 9 to 5 and work hard or to quit and become an entrepreneur?” Another damn question! One minute you’re being praised for waking up each morning and heading to work and then the next, you’re being embarrassed because you don’t work for yourself. One minute it’s ok to enjoy some rest and relaxation but the next, you’re being fat shamed for missing the gym. Really!!!??
3. They can sometimes leave gaps – We’ve fooled ourselves into thinking that the things that appear on the internet come from the internet gods. No. They’re created by people, somewhere in the world who at one point or another have had their heart broken too, who made mistakes as well, who quit jobs, still aren’t working, missed the gym for a whole week, aren’t entrepreneurs, have baby mama and baby daddy issues and just aren’t perfect…like the rest of us. So yes, there will be gaps. These articles and photos will never address your situation spot on because they weren’t written from your situation.
4. They can give a false sense of understanding – When you’re in a funk and just looking for a way out anything you see or read could be mistaken as a sign or symbolic of what you’re going through. So the one day your boyfriend makes you mad and you see a meme that says, “Sometimes you just have to quit.” Your super emotional state would have you calling him in two minutes to break it off or overthinking yourself into whether or not this is the end for the two of you, because to you, this meme was written just for you to see and make your decision. NAH!
And that’s why I’ve limited my love/life advice reads. Although there are some amazing pointers and tips, truths and realness to some of the things we read, reading too many of them at once could leave you so confused and mixed up. We have to get to a place in realizing that it takes more than the internet to solve your problems. Grab coffee with a friend and talk, call your mother on a Monday night and discuss it, go for a drive with your sister and vent, call him/her up and go through it. Seek real life advice from the people who love you and know you and are intimately involved with your life. Yes, read some advice columns and blogs too but, not all at once…unless it’s Carrie Bradshaw’s advice column! I kid!