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A letter to my 4-year-old self…30 things I need to tell you

Dear Ianthia,

I am writing this letter to you from 26 years in the future. At this very point you’re celebrating our 30th birthday, it’s December 3, 2015. At just four years old you probably wont understand anything that I’m saying to you and why it’s even important, but take my advice, I am here to guide you and protect you. We both need you to survive. So I want to tell you a few things about yourself.

You may not know this now, but you are freaking awesome! But then again…knowing you, you probably do already know! pic1With your lips often pursed into a subtle smile, your eyes always filled with an excited glow, you’re bursting with life, love and success. You will always clear your own path and never follow anyone else’s. But the ride wont always be easy, little one, you will make mistakes, have missteps and failures. Regret will be the hallmark of somedays and worry, the blanket of many nights. But baby girl, you will accomplish more, do more, love more, be more than you know at this point and you will be amazing. While you bask in all your youthful innocence oblivious to the mean, cruel world that sits at your doorstep waiting for you step out and tear you down, be prepared for the rides; the good times, the bad times, the times in between for they will all shape who you will become and grow to be. I know you can’t even fathom what that is, but rest assured the time will fly by, days will rapidly turn to nights, friends will be come strangers, strangers will become friends, friends will become lovers, your family will ALWAYS be there and you, my dear, will gracefully muscle through it all. And just for you, I’ve compiled a list…a list of 30 things I want you to remember on your road to 30.

3o things I need to tell you…

-Don’t be afraid of breakups. You will hate them and cling on to the every fiber of a relationship or friendship, but sometimes you have to let go. Just let go. Don’t be afraid.

– Travel, stop “going away.” You will learn the importance of seeing the world through new eyes.

– Met new people, new friends. By your very nature, you are introverted extrovert but it’s ok to trust strangers sometimes, not everyone is out to get you. 


With my grandmother Janet

– Stop shopping for material goods, after a while they will no longer interest you.

-Learn to argue like an adult.

– You’re not as complicated as people think. The need to jealously guard your heart, trust and loyalty comes off as something else, but you’re really just a person who cherishes friendships. When you don’t let people in, they will be offended, but remain you.

–  By 30, the idea of eloping rather than a big wedding will intrigue you more.

– The saying “people judge you by your actions and themselves by their intentions” is very true, you will learn this.

– Your growth will come with setbacks…and you deserve to take them, relish in them, learn from them and don’t rush along the growing process.

– You will actually eat a whole banana LOL!

– You just have to let go!

– You will have jobs, but…consider working for yourself. It’ll be worth it.


– You will get super comfy with taking big risks in your career, money, love, life. At some point you wont let any of these hold you hostage, have power over you and you will control them. You will set the temperature on your happiness and not allow these societal trophies to cage you.

– You’re a Sagittarius and you are who you are, there’s no faking when you like someone and when you don’t.  Trust your keen intuition and sharp observation in judging character, you will rarely be wrong.

– It’s ok to initiate being nice and starting friendships. You’re good at responding to kindness and the offer of a friendship, but take the lead sometimes and you spark the flame.

– Stop being your own worst enemy in relationships! Get out of your own head!

-You are more forgiving and accepting of people’s faults than people give you credit for.

– Girl, you are a sucker for love! A true romantic!

– You need to let people work for forgiveness from you. Your unwavering loyalty to those you love wont be easy for just anyone to come by, so when they do and taint that…they must work to regain it! Don’t give it out like lollipops.

– You wont get them as often as you’d like, but you love getting flowers!

– Share little of your past with your present…you’ll always hear about it in the future.

– You’re a damn good friend!!!!


with my mommy and sister

– You will always be there for others. Whether it’s at the last minute, no matter the issues…but you will rarely get that in return. There will be times when you want your friends to be the pillar you’ve been, but they wont always be.

– Don’t settle for being anyone’s #2! TAKE HEED!

– Learn to love the things that the people you love, love…even if you don’t really love it.

– Keep your passport updated, some exotic travel is in your future!

– Don’t minimize your accomplishments! You will work hard to get where you’re going and you need to celebrate you every step of the way.

– You will have many lonely days…enjoy them.

– You wont always end with who you started with.


with my grandmother Sylvia

-You will be A-OK!!!!!! Girl you will have a tough ride at some points, doubting yourself, doubting your loved ones. Your family will be your rock, your pillar of strength through it all while some others you thought would’ve stuck around fade to ghosts…girl listen to me…YOU WILL BE OK!!!!!!

And at 30…I am…A-OK!! Happy birthday to me!

1 Response
  • Designer Cardell
    December 5, 2015

    I love this piece, a delight to read -happy birthday