It seems today’s woman is heavily scrutinized for everything…even breathing sometimes!
LITERALLY! Women today have a real hard time just being and doing them. I was swamped in work this weekend but found the time to slip in some news and watch bits and pieces of the Women’s March from around the world. It was one hugely massive “F OFF!”
F*** OFF to gender bias!
F*** OFF to unfair pay!
F*** OFF to sexism!
F*** OFF to telling us we can’t when we’ve proven we can!
F*** OFF to calling us crazy!
F*** OFF to all of it!
As a woman, myself, I sometimes feel like I have to walk on egg shells when it comes to doing the things that make me happy and make me feel fulfilled. For fear of being called crazy, seeming weird or sticking out like a sore thumb, many women are afraid to let their light shine and be their authentic, awesome selves.
Calling a woman crazy is one way to get under her skin…or at least it used to be! These days we’re fully embracing the titles the world tosses at us as some scare tactic to whip us into shape! Bring it on, boo!
These titles we’ll proudly wear as we brush off the insults and do life on our terms!
When it comes to her career, love life, personal style, personal choice and even what she wears day to day, a woman should be allowed to do whatever she wants…without being called CRAZY! Here are 7 of them!
Cut your hair!
It was Coco Chanel who once said, “A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.” And nothing is more true! I’ve been wearing short hair since my high school days and let me tell you, this has been the most freeing experience ever! Every time I sit down for a fresh trim, I feel revived and rejuvenated. I’ve rocked a fro, gone bald, I’ve had faux locs, long hair, mid-length hair and more recently wear my pixie cut as my norm. I’ve had my hair purple, red, blonde, jet black…and this does not make me crazy! Admittedly, many times a woman chops off her hair it’s in the aftermath of a traumatic experience like a death, sickness and yes, a breakup…but truth be told a woman who chops off her locks after a painful past also cuts off fear, defeat, she cuts off pessimism, guilt, anxiety, anger, jealousy and so much more! So go ahead call her crazy…you’re sadly mistaken! This is a woman about to roar with victory and triumph, proving that even in the midst of heartache she’s strong enough and ready to make major moves! First step: shed the one thing that we’re taught makes us beautiful!
Travel solo…to somewhere far away!
Girlfriend…find some me time, keep your passport handy and jet set solo! More and more women are embracing the notion of solo travel and just reconnecting with themselves. I threaten my friends and family all the time that I will book a flight to somewhere far away and just go at it alone. Sure, they look at me all sorts of crazy but there’s really nothing crazy about it! There’s nothing crazy about exploring a new city, a new country, some new food, a new you…alone!
Go on a date alone!
My little sister is so overprotective of me and my whereabouts, especially since she’s gotten married and moved out. I’m going to happy hour alone, I’m going to the movies alone and she calls me crazy! But I’m really not! I love packing up my laptop and heading to my fave coffee shop to chill out and do work, or sometimes going to happy hour solo and actually enjoying myself. A woman is not crazy if she decides to go see the latest movie by herself or even goes to her favorite restaurant and gets a table for one. No, she’s not trying to get away or hide from the cruelty of the world who think they know her business. No, she’s not running away from her problems. She’s actually running towards herself. There’s absolutely nothing crazy about wanting to spend some time alone and enjoying some of your favorite activities, sans company. For me, this is the time we really reconnect with and better ourselves. So when the creepy guy across the bar asks, “Why is a pretty girl like you all alone?,” tell him you’re not and that, actually, you’re hanging out with your best friend.
Quit her job to #girlboss
I was called everything but a child of God when I abruptly quit my job to explore the world of freelance and entrepreneurship. No one quite got it, but I knew it was something I had to do! Whenever someone asks me to share my story about building up the courage and strength to make such a move, I tell them that at least once in ever woman’s life, she should just not work for anybody and make money on her own terms! If it only lasts for 3 months, 9 months or a year, it’s a story she can share for the rest of her life and a story that will come with invaluable experience. Trust me…I’m a living testament! The world loves to measure a woman’s worth based on the titles that go before or after her name. If she wants to leave the corporate world and take a risk on herself, let her do that. She’s not crazy for exploring her own strengths and breaking the mold of what society says she should do. In fact, it shows bravery and some big balls to do so! Read this, this and this blog to see how I made it all work for me!
Say it loud, “Yes, I wanna be married!”
This is a big one! Why can’t a woman, in a committed relationship, who’s not engaged and never been proposed to express to the world that she wants to be married? Why does she have to suppress her want and desire to be someone’s wife and put on the pretend, “I’m just waiting until he asks” stance? Why can’t she say, “Yes, I would love to be married right now?” It’s like women are made to feel like the last one picked for the after school baseball game if she’s last on her list of friends and family to get wifed up. Even worse, she’s made to feel like a freak of nature for expressing that, yea, maybe she’s a tad disappointed that it hasn’t happened for her as yet. Just because a woman might browse wedding magazines, without even being someone’s fiance, or talk to her friends about her desire to be her man’s wife, doesn’t make her some Cinderella crazed, fairytale loving, horse drawn carriage maniac. More than likely, she’s a woman who knows her worth and place and needs her man to recognize the same…before it’s too late.
Call off an engagement (if you want to)!
Similarly, a woman shouldn’t be called crazy if she calls off an engagement. Many people gasped when Adrienne Bailon a while back announced on her talk show The Real that after her “Eat. Pray. Love.” trip she realised that she had to call off her engagement…and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Here’s the crucial difference, the woman we described above is a woman who’s safe, secure and knows herself and could easily identify when a man needs to make the next step. But when her man has in fact made that step but she sees the need for more growth, to be more grounded and the need for more mental, physical and spiritual chemistry it is A-Ok to take a step back and save herself some heartache. Adrienne has since found new love, got engaged again and is now married! Maybe it was worth it to cancel that prior engagement. Like Fantasia says, sometimes you gotta lose to win!
Not want kids…or want 10 of them!
Leave that woman’s wombs alone!!!!! Whether she wants one child, 10 children or none at all is her prerogative! Who are you to give the side eye to a woman who expresses her magical and life giving ability to bring life into this world…or not? Some women have made the decision to not be mothers and that’s quite fine, but I can tell you that that doesn’t make her any less woman! No she’s not crazy nor is she selfish for not wanting children. In the same way, a woman shouldn’t be called crazy or irresponsible for wanting and/or having six children. I do agree that family planning is paramount and that children should be brought up in healthy environments, but who’s to say that a household of 10 isn’t healthy? Locally (The Bahamas) there’s been a lot of talk about how many kids a woman should bring into the world from some top ranking officials. To me, there’s this quiet attack trying to force women to watch their wombs and count their offspring, as if the woman conceives alone! CAN WE LIVE?!
Contrary to popular belief, when a woman makes a drastic life change or just wants to carve out some alone time, trust me, she’s not going crazy! When she does something that seems far left field, she’s not always crying out for help, having a meltdown or seeking attention. Give the sister some space and let her be free to express herself!