I have never once caught the bouquet at any wedding I’ve attended.
And it’s not because I’m an unlucky in love, single lady who can’t find a man to marry her, nor is it because I can’t put up a good fight and hustle for the beautiful heap of flowers.
I’ve never caught a bridal bouquet because I’ve honestly never tried and…honestly I never want to.
The bouquet toss has to be one of the most eye-roll inducing parts of a wedding for me. Usually when the MC calls all single ladies to the floor and the DJ starts blasting Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” the unmarried women in the house dash to the dance floor, line up and get ready for the competition.
At this point, I’m still sitting in my seat, sipping my wine, digging into my salmon and waiting for this showdown to happen. I was a guest at a wedding one time and when it was time for the bouquet toss, my friend was adamant that I join the crew trying to catch it. We were walking back to our seats from the bar and she insisted that I put my drinks down and put my pushing skills to use. I know she meant it with a good heart, but saying it a million times was almost annoying, as if this was my last chance to get some luck so that I too could be a bride, and the only way I could get married is if I caught the damn bouquet! lol!
I found this excerpt on the history of the bouquet toss in another blog.
This tradition grew out of the 14th century European idea that brides and all that they touched were lucky. Wedding guests would actually chase after the bride, tearing at her dress, hoping to take home a small good luck charm. The bride finally decided to stop the madness and prevent the guests from bothering her on her special day- and the bouquet toss was born!
This was me at my sister’s wedding, in 2015, literally only partaking in the bouquet toss because…IT WAS MY SISTER’S WEDDING! But oh, look at everyone’s face…which one of these doesn’t belong? ME! LOL! I wasn’t holding my dress up in preparation to jump, I was making sure my cousin didn’t step on it!
I must admit, for some the bouquet toss is the best part of the wedding as it holds up a longstanding tradition, gets some action and excitement going and, yes, for some women, is the telltale sign that they’re next. But I’m not here for the pushing, shoving and sometimes fighting that goes down at weddings as “all the single ladies” dive, jump and fly to catch the bouquet…and possibly a husband! Here’s why!
Some half dead flowers will not get you a husband
I don’t mean to be so blunt, but I really don’t believe that being the “lucky one” to catch the bouquet means you’re next in line to walk down the aisle. I mean, has it been proven? Yes, I know some things are just tradition and people only do them for the fun of it but until those roses, peonies and hydrangeas come with a 6-foot tall, milk chocolate, romantic, caring, financially, emotionally and spiritually stable man who loves travelling, watching Netflix, could read well, fix my phone when it breaks, love me on my crazy days, eat pickled sausage with me, let me eat off his plate ( hey babe!) and watch reality TV with me, then I’ll believe the hype! Until then…nah fam!
Catching the bouquet has lost its “super powers”
…and this is assuming it had some to begin with. Although there are still a whole lot of women who clamour to front of the line to catch the bouquet, I’ve noticed that a lot of
them us unmarried ladies decide to sit out until the dancing part of the wedding reception. It’s not like I attend a wedding every weekend, but the ones that I have been to in recent times, the bouquet toss line has been really thin, while a lot of women I know are unmarried sit unamused in the crowd…myself included. Maybe the bouquet toss isn’t as attractive as it once was, or yielded the super powers it once did. Maybe more women are onto this sneaky little tradition that promises a blossoming love life, but really only embarrasses her in the end. So fine, one lucky girl catches the bouquet or flower; is this to assume the other ones who were once vying for it are doomed? Heck no!
It could be insulting
Really? A blob of dehydrated flowers at the end of the day holds my future in its petals? I THINK NOT! I’m one of those girls who gets hella mad when someone incessantly insists that I try to catch the bouquet. I’m also one of those girls who cringe when the DJ calls “all the singles ladies” to the center of the room and everyone else stares at them as if they’re looking at a real life elephant in the room. The mood in the room instantly shifts as the line between the married and the unmarried is drawn and the silent judgment begins. No longer is the single girl stared at for her beautiful dress, or flawless hair, no longer is she being admired for bomb shoes…she’s being analysed crevice by crevice by some stranger wondering why she’s so unlucky in love. Usually, too, the single ladies in line for the bouquet toss, often find themselves among a group of small kids, also hoping to snag the merchandise. Weird. I respect the tradition and beliefs of the ladies who willingly and anxiously jump up to join in the fun, but how about we not force the ones who don’t dig it, to do the same? Take it from someone who knows. It could be very insulting. By the way, what makes you think every single woman wants to be married anyway?
After the groom at a wedding erotically removes the garter from his new bride’s thigh, of course the guys in attendance are excited to catch it. It says you have the permission to deflower her, to remove her vulnerability, take control and master her. For me, shoving through a crowd of 12-year-olds for some weathered plants only screams, “Me next! Me next, pretty please!” and really doesn’t expedite my nuptial destiny. I do want to get married some day, mind you but until then, I’m not catching the bouquet at anyone’s wedding! Miss me wit it!